TBK is 3

How…did this happen? I can believe that it’s been one year, maybe two max, but three?! :0

Three years ago today, you were born after 18 hours of labor. I remember the feeling of when you were handed to me.. it was through my legs, and the first part I held of you were your ribs. Your tiny ribs. You were sooo small. Your face was swollen but we didn’t know that so we thought you looked kinda funny and we couldn’t tell who you looked like.

Over the next year, you changed and developed so much each day. You first said “umma” a bunch of times at 3 months to the day. You first crawled a day before 5 months. You signed “milk” with your hand at.. 6 ish? months.. You just progressed so quickly and mightily. I could see the determination in you from such a young age. You really have willed things into reality, starting with the first time you supported your head up on your own. That same determination and strong will is even clearer today at 3.

We’re not together today. Mom and dad are in another state on a secret assignment. (Of course it’s not a secret to you – we told you for many weeks leading up to now and you know exactly where we are and what we’re doing. But we’ve not publicly shared about this just yet.) I’m really sad that I missed the nearly last week of you being 2, my favorite age thus far. You were the greatest two year old I’ve known, and I’m so excited to witness 3 b/c I know you’re just gonna impress us even more, though tbh I’m pretty sad. 😦 Each day, I feel your independence grow, and I know that before I know it, you are going to be out of the house. T__T I hope that while you are here with me, we make the most of it, and build a solid, solid relationship of trust and love.

Two was spent mostly in your grandparents’ home, with the pandemic ongoing. You went from a decent speaker to a full-on orator, telling entire stories and explaining situations. You are a great conversationalist and your responses sound like an adult / grandparent. Example: “Me (in Korean): wow, there are a lot of ducks here even though it’s really cold!; You: “Geuruhgae (I know right??)” You pick up a lot of grandparent-like sayings from GM & GP I guess. Haha.

I left my job in September, so we got a nice 7.5 week excursion to LA and Korea, where I saw you truly enjoy yourself and all the love/attention from family. You were a champ for the travels. You still think back fondly on Korea and you ask if we can fly there again soon. You pray for our Korea family members to be safe and “not die.” You say how much you miss everyone and love looking at pics/vids of our time there.

Over the past year, you also learned how to ride a scooter, a trike, a bike with training wheels, and how to drive those small cars / vehicles. We were shocked when you automatically knew how to control a bumper car that had a front-back joystick on one side and a left-right joystick on the other. You also learned how to play basic video games (just walking around, jumping n stuff) like Animal Crossing and Nom Nom Galaxy. Most dope-ly, you busted out your crazy MJ-like dance moves. Like whoa. O__O You are just born with rhythm and born to dance. Your freestyle moves are at the professional level!! And you can also follow choreo like Zumba. You memorize the moves and songs – Metela Sacala is your best.

You also taught yourself (rather recently) how to somersault and showed us one on videochat yesterday. We’re going to put you in gymnastics b/c you seem v interested. In the winter, I took you to the Flick Park Ice Rink to try skating for the first time. You tiny bit got the hang of it but then you had to pee so we left. Haha :p you’re pretty great at basketball and throw jump shots (and make a lot of them)! Many people have expressed to us how athletic you are and I agree, you’re like a little Sporty Spice!

In Korea, you learned that my milk is not really sour (which you believed from your 2nd bday up until October-ish). So now we’re back to nursing, but with my milk dried up… so just comfort nursing. Maybe you’ll stop though since we’ll have been apart for 1-2 weeks. We’ll see. You have expressed that you would share me/your milk with any little siblings (as well as all your toys, your house, your everything ^^). You are so affectionate, loving, touchy, and sweet. You think ahead and try to take care of those around you (remove obstacles in the way for little Ellie, feed your friends, etc.).

You love to pray and say some beautiful, profound things about God and Jesus. You have so much empathy.. you cried when I told you about homelessness. You have also cried when I’ve told you of tragedies that have happened. You are just so thoughtful and such an empath! I am so touched by your big heart. Thank you. (I’ve recorded a lot of your prayers and our night time conversations on voice notes so you can ask me about them later.)

You are also SO affirming and encouraging. You are constantly telling me how beautiful I am, how smart I am, how skinny I am (LOL “nuhmoo nalshinhae” – I think b/c of the 3 Bears in a House song), how much you love me, how I’m the best, how I’m your best friend, and how I’m mushissuh (cool/impressive). I love spending our time together, and while some days feel so long, I’m so glad I’ve been getting to spend all of the past 6+ months with you full-time.

And I’ve told you this so many times, but it’s worth repeating. When we found out I was pregnant with a girl, my mom told me, “God is giving you a daughter b/c he knows just what you need.” And boy was she right! Or girl was she right! :p He definitely knew just what I needed, or who I needed — You.

You have helped me through my grief with losing my mom, through the transition from full-time working parent to full-time parent at home, through my tiffs and full-on fights with my MIL (heh :’p), through all the grief of 2020 and 2021.. just everything. And you’ve made me laugh so much and have filled my heart so much that it feels like it’s going to burst.

So Taylor girl, boraya, princess, baby, aegi, cutie patootie, happy third birthday. We love you so much.

Diaper Free Baby (Pt. II)

I promised a follow-up post to my last post on EC. Start there if you haven’t read it yet, please! This is a continuation of that to provide more of our personal experience with EC and to share our takeaways. Please jump down to the “Advice on EC” section if you’re just interested in advice/takeaways 🙂

The rest of our EC journey

I wrote my last post when T was ~9 months (though it sat in my drafts & I didn’t publish it until much more recently). Right around that time, she was going through what’s called a “potty pause“. We noticed that whenever T was focused on certain developmental milestones, she would go on potty pauses. She also just went through different phases like being interested in the potty, anti-potty, okay with potty, etc. (One of the best parenting phrases we learned from our friend Dave was, “It’s just a phase.” That’s what you tell yourself through every struggle and it really turns out to be true!) So yeah, we just took things as they came.

The biggest hurdle for us with EC was the mix of daycare vs. times at home. Prior to sending T to daycare, she was really not soiling diapers and was super comfortable with the potty. However, once she went and learned a different way to live life, I think she started to question whether she wanted to continue using the potty or just start going in her diapers since someone would change them for her. Despite this shift, we just kept at it and continued to offer the potty and prompt her to go whenever we were at home.

Clip of T peeing her pants casually at 11 months old. She looked at me right before going so she knew what was coming; only I didn’t. Haha!

I wanna say from between 9 months to 19 months old, she came home from daycare with 4-6 wet diapers and 0-2 poopy ones (recall that we cloth diapered so we would see the diapers :p). However, she was pretty good about pooping in the potty at home if she was home. What was hard was the pee.

There was this kinda long phase (maybe a couple months?) where she’d tell us she’s going pee (“shee” in Korean) while she was going. We tried to tell her that it’d be helpful if she told us beforehand but she just kept telling us during the pee. A lot of weekends, when it was warm, we kept her diaperless (usually in undies and pants), and she’d pee on the floor sooo many times while saying “shee!” lolll most the time it was on the hardwood or tiles, but a lot of times it was on our rug x) (get a rug you can clean easily or don’t mind getting soiled lol). Sometimes we’d catch her when she started and sit her on the potty while she peed the rest, but most times we missed and just cleaned it up with this super absorbent German towel. Here’s a link to what I think is the same thing, but we bought ours at H-Mart.

A few months before she turned two, we noticed she could go pretty long without peeing and was noticeably consolidating her pees. So when we were in Hawaii, we took our first outing where we just kept her in undies and her outfit and brought extra changes of clothes (no diapers). We were out for a couple hours and she waited til we got home to use the potty. It was a gamble, and it was on our mind throughout the outing, esp in the car cuz I didn’t want to have to clean a carseat of pee, but she prevailed! (We asked her many times on the outing if she needed to go.) And so we slowly began to try diaperless outings that way.

Pic from a diaperless outing in HI – she asked at the restaurant to use the potty. Turns out there wasn’t one there so daddy had to run with her across the street to the mall’s public restroom. :p

Fully potty trained

Then, on March 17, 2020, something just clicked for her. It was the day that daycares shut down in NYC and Peter and I were both WFH with Taylor. From the moment she woke up, she told me each time she had to pee BEFORE she peed. Later that night around 8 pm, Peter and I made a literal last minute decision to fly to my in-laws’ b/c we heard they may be shutting down the city and we’d be trapped at home w/ a baby & work. I put a disposable diaper on T and headed to the airport with her (P came the next morning). I bought our flight tickets at the counter (never thought I’d do that!) and we headed to the gate. When we got to the gate, T said she had to pee, but b/c of coronavirus and not wanting to go into the airport bathroom, I told her we can’t potty right now “so just go in your diaper.” Fast fwd to about 1.5 hrs later when we’re in the air, and she tells me she needs to pee again. I check her diaper and it’s still dry!! I took her to the airplane cabin and held her over the toilet (facing the toilet) and she went. I was amazed.

And then I kid you not, from that day on she was just fully potty trained. After a couple months, she gained full ability to do everything herself (walk to potty, pull down pants, sit, wipe, stand, pull pants up again). So yeah, from the day we got to Chicago, we never washed another cloth diaper again. O__O so crazy! And it worked out cuz the water here is super hard (which is not good for CDs). We had one overnight accident maybe like within a month of her being fully trained, when she drank a lot of water before sleeping and passed out and went in her sleep (waterproof sheets are key!!). However since then she’s never had an overnight accident. (Side note: she stopped peeing in her sleep around 2.5 months old – I noticed it first when we went to LA where she’d go several hour stretches at night without wetting her diaper, and I’d potty her once in the middle of the night and she’d go back to sleep. Night/nap pottying was something we never had to deal with for some strange, blessed reason.)

Then there were two days in a row in the fall where she had daytime accidents – first, we went to the park and she told me she had to pee when we were just about to go down a slide – I asked her to hold it til we got down off the playground but she just started going then and there, looking freaked out. I reassured her that it’s okay to have an accident and while she was on the verge of tears, I guess she took me at my word and didn’t cry. Then the next day she had another accident in the backyard or something. These were like 6+ months after she was fully potty trained so it was a surprise, but it was her learning that she needs to go when she first feels the urge to pee instead of holding it til the last possible second. So all in all, since March ’20, a month before she turned 2, she became fully potty trained and had 2 daytime accidents and 1 overnight accident.

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Advice on EC

1. Don’t treat it as an all or nothing approach
   • Peter and I were both full-time working parents. I think that if one of us were at home with her for even just a few more months before she went to daycare, she might have been fully potty trained by age 1. But it is what it is! We had to send her to daycare after mat leave & grandma care. And while that caused a shift, we adjusted and kept at it as we could. We didn’t always bring the potty on outings or trips and we didn’t always CD either. It doesn’t matter. A catch is a catch, and that’s one less diaper you used, one more “win” for your baby, and one less mess to clean. 🙂
2. Take each victory as it comes and celebrate it. Don’t think about “goals” and targets to hit. Just keep practicing EC with your LO
   • This is kind of a general parenting tip (that can apply to anything – breastfeeding, physical achievements, food, etc.) and def applies to EC. It’s not about catching X number of pees/poos or being potty trained by Y months. It’s about offering an alternative to sh*tting and wetting yourself to your baby who is smart enough to eliminate in a comfortable place but just physically cannot due to mobility challenges :P. Sometimes your baby will not care about soiling themselves bc they’re focused on something else (e.g., learning to flip over), but as long as you’re offering the option to eliminate the way most baby animals do, that’s success in our opinion.
3. The earlier you start, the better. Today is better than tomorrow.
   • As noted in my prior post, babies naturally don’t want to soil themselves — it’s we who teach them to become diaper-trained – we teach them through months and months of diapering that they are supposed to go in their pants. This is why it’s so hard to potty train, to reverse this thing we’ve taught them all their lives, and also why the US has one of the highest average ages of potty trained kids (bc we’re a wealthy nation and can afford to keep diapering well into the years). Check out this fascinating CNN article that talks about potty training in diff countries (and even mentions the growing age of the US’ potty trained age, which used to be 18 months in 1947.) Another article here talks in depth about why earlier is better. That’s why I say today is better than tomorrow because the earlier you stop diaper-training them the more likely they can hold on to their original instincts and try to eliminate outside their pants.
4. It’s okay to take breaks
   • Along the lines of #1, you don’t need to do EC all the time. Your baby may go through a potty pause and physically refuse. You may hurt your wrist and be unable to carry baby. Or maybe you’re jetlagged from a trip and everything’s out of whack. You might just have an exhausting day and want to do the least. That’s all fine and not detrimental at all to EC, which again, does not need to be an all-or-nothing thing. There were plenty of times where we were going on an outing and knew it’d be hard or inconvenient to potty her and we just put a diaper on with no intention of trying to potty while out. There were other times where we’d just take her to the bathroom once and hold her over the toilet to see if she needed to go but primarily just diapered. In other words, you make do with your situation and it’s all G!
5. EC might be more upfront work but it’s an investment for greater returns down the road.
   • Parents of newborns have a lot on their plates. I get it. So they think omg, it’s too much, let me get my bearings on everything else first and focus on pottying later — at the expense of much more lengthened time on the back-end of buying diapers and wipes, changing their kids, and a very stressful period of time (when you finally do try to potty train, which is one of the biggest sources of stress for parents of young ones and one of the experiences they most dislike.) See #6 below – if you adopt the #6 mentality, then yes, it’s more work in the early days, but it’s just another thing you do for your baby and in the meantime, you may cut down time and stress on the backend spent on diapering/training.
6. ECing is just another thing you do for your baby, like how you feed them, change them, burp them, bathe them, or put them to sleep. It’s not a big deal; don’t treat it like it is.
   • Parents do all kinds of things for their newborns. If you accept the premise that human babies are intelligent (at least as intelligent as baby kittens, dogs, horses, etc., who all don’t soil themselves b/c they can crawl/walk from birth), and that they naturally don’t want to soil themselves, then EC is just a natural process/action with your child, just like you feed them b/c they are hungry and need nutrients, just like you burp them so they don’t spit up, just like you show them things to stimulate their brains, etc. Resist the urge to write it off as a crazy thing, or “too much work”, just b/c you aren’t familiar with the alternative, just b/c you live in a culture that profits off of one-time-use products and pushes out all other voices that don’t follow the “traditional” way of diapering babies until they’re toddlers or kids. (Remember that in most of the rest of the world, they don’t do this.)
7. Remember your “why”
   • For us, we chose to do EC b/c it first and foremost made sense to us – common sense that was hard to see until we thought about it and realized simply diapering is not the only way. Once we opened our minds to it, we were able to see its great added benefits. EC is friendly to the earth, our baby’s bum (no diaper rash and not constantly putting countless chemicals on our baby’s skin that are found in disposable diapers), to our wallet (costs virtually nothing, or else just the cost of potties if you want ’em), and was another fun way to engage with our baby and celebrate her / be proud of her
8. Final tip: engage with community, take advantage of resources
   • The EC community is small but strong and engaged, and there are many blogs, youtube videos, facebook groups, threads, etc. that share tips, struggles, troubleshooting ideas, and more. We are happy to be part of your EC community too and can share whatever we know. We were grateful to have our close friends and neighbors to EC & CD with us (their son is 3 months younger than T), and our other friends and neighbors (daughter 3 months older than T) who started EC & CD a lot later than us (but still earlier than general US potty training age) and their girl also became fully trained around the same time. Our other friends with the boy are on the verge of being diaper-free but also had a similar experience to us where the infant months were filled with many catches and then daycare threw a big block at their journey but they’ve kept on (with their share of breaks and difficulties as well).

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Would love to hear your comments, reactions, questions, experience, anything. Please share in the comments below! 🙂 I will write another post on our EC gear / setup and cloth diapering setup as well. As always, thanks for reading!

Traveling to Korea in the Pandemic with a Toddler

Hello! Sorry for being MIA. A lot has happened since my last post. I left my job in BigLaw, took 2 weeks to wind down, then traveled to Korea with Taylor, survived 2 weeks of strict quarantine alone with her X__X and emerged into freedom a week and half ago. Many posts I want to write, but I’ll start with this one!

Peter was unable to come with us b/c his work, while remote, is team-heavy and involves a lot of calls and meetings, so they didn’t want him traveling to Korea even if he’d stay on NY time so I solo yolo mom’d the travels to make it to Korea to visit my dad.

My parents moved overseas in 2008 and I haven’t lived with them since I was 18 😦 and it was college then law school back to back, followed by 5 years of corporate work life, so at most I got to see them 2 weeks or so at a time. Even when my mom got sick, I only spent 2-3 weeks with her 😦 I wanted to take a leave of absence, but my mom was adamantly against it… so I never got to spend a big chunk of time with her before she was gone.

Since we’ve moved in with my in-laws, I had the opportunity to leave my job, and my dad didn’t seem to be doing the best with his health (though he’s now much better~), so I wanted to come to Korea asap. Hence, I left my job and am now in Korea for 7 weeks with my dad. (We’re more than halfway thru with the trip though 😥 so fast) Would like to stay longer but also don’t want to keep Taylor from Peter for too long. T_T

Without further ado, below are the tips I’ve extracted from my travels (ORD > LAX > ICN). I also have a more thorough video on YouTube here (also embedded at the bottom).

Traveling Alone with Toddler

• Check whatever bags you can, and then try to limit the things you need to push in the airport to 2 things b/c you will otherwise need to find a cart or something
• If you bring a stroller, you can use it all the way to the gate and pass it off to the airline staff – they will stow it in the cargo and have it ready for you at the jetbridge or gate once you land
• Take a carrier if your back can still handle carrying your tot a bit. You can stow it in the stroller storage until you have to part with the stroller and then use it on the plane. It’s helpful to free your hands if your tot’s asleep, and for when they’re awake, going ham & won’t stay in their seat – I put T into the carrier and after she cried for like 10 mins otw to LAX she passed out. :o)
• Obvious tip but allow yourself extra time to get to the gate. Otw to ICN, T was passed out when going thru TSA and I struggled to close and open my stroller while carrying her deadweight sleeping self with my limited hands (they said I had to put the carrier thru the x-ray belt so I couldn’t free my hands that way either – this wasn’t the case usually when I traveled with her as an infant though; they let me keep the carrier on)
• When booking seats, try to pick a 3-seater section and book the window and aisle seats. You’ll most likely get all 3 seats that way (particularly with the more limited travelers currently). I also booked close to a bathroom so it wouldn’t be far for frequent trips

Pandemic-Specific Toddler Travel Notes

• B/c of covid, ppl may be hesitant to help you / you may be hesitant to accept others’ help with your bags and/or baby, so just keep that in mind
• People have different risk tolerances about germs and such..
  • When I got on the American Airlines plane, I just wiped down the screen, tray table, handles, and seatbelt. TBH when I got on the Asiana Airlines plane, it looked dang pristine and she was sleeping already so I just laid her down on the seats and didn’t get around to wiping anything down.. (we tested negative though and didn’t get sick in our 2-week quarantine nor after)
  • If I had more hands, or she wasn’t sleeping when we got on the plane, I would have laid the plastic-wrapped blankets down first, but it was kinda moot once I laid her down so I just used the blankets on her for warmth and the provided pillow under her head
  • We’ve flown a few times in the pandemic and each time we landed, once we got home, we just put all our clothes in the laundry and took a shower. We didn’t change until we got home though
  • I heard a tip of a mom who put their kids in double tops, pants & socks so that when they landed and got off the plane the mom took off all the outer layers before going about getting to their accommodations, to not have to deal with changing them, but to also feel like they were clean in their relative’s car, etc.
• I know a lot of parents stress over keeping their kid’s mask on for the whole flight. At least for me, no one gave us flack when she didn’t have it on. Maybe it’s b/c ppl don’t know if she’s over 2 or under, or maybe they just didn’t notice. I tried to have her keep it on when I could but I didn’t lose my mind over it, since she was kinda eating/drinking/snacking throughout the majority of the time as well (for which you can take off your mask)
• If you have a long flight, pick an overnight flight so you can knock off hours that way!

Immigration Process after Landing at ICN & Leaving ICN

• The first desk is the health/quarantine desk. You submit a health questionnaire and they take your temp through the type of device you point at the forehead. For T, they put it behind her ear
• The next desk(s) are for the cellphone app installation. I had to visit two of them, don’t know if that’s the case for everyone. At the first one, I installed the app and inserted some info, and showed them my family relation documents (birth certificates). At the second, they called my Korean phone number (my dad’s cell) and finished inputting some info in my app
• The third part was where they took my fingerprints and photo and gave me & T a yellow badge (indicating gov’t facility quarantine)
• The final desk was passport control, and they checked my family relation documents again. They took back our badges (saying that b/c we’re not going to the gov’t facility, we don’t need them), took my pic and fingerprints again, then sent us off to baggage claim
• After baggage claim, the arrivals hall is cordoned off and you come to another desk. That desk checked my family relation documents a final time and then gave us orange dot stickers on our upper arms
• Going through the roped off path, at the final exit point, the officers asked how we were getting home and when my dad met us there, they made sure he was aware of all the rules in taking home relatives from the airport, then we were free
• The whole process after getting off the plane was a little over 1.5 hours. From touchdown to meeting my dad, it was 2 hours

Quarantining (at Relatives‘)

• There are a list of rules you must abide by when quarantining with relatives. They give you that list in paper form and it’s also accessible from within the app as a digital image
• The app installed on your phone at the airport uses GPS tracking to check your whereabouts. You have to log your temperature and answer yes/no to other symptoms twice a day. The first several days, b/c of jetlag, I wouldn’t move my phone for long periods of time during the day, and I got notifications that I haven’t moved in too long and to click a button to confirm I’m still there
  • One of the first days I didn’t push that button in time and it said a notification was sent to my quarantine officer. However I didn’t get contacted by him in that instance
  • My quarantine officer called or texted a few times b/c I was too late with my temperature log in each instance. It was hard remembering sometimes when dealing with a jetlagged toddler and trying to keep us both sane, & rarely checking my phone. He understood whenever we explained, and forgave us each time :p
• The fine for violating the quarantine is 10,000,000 KRW (which is about $8500 USD) and up to a year in prison, so it’s best to just stay put the 2 weeks ^__^
  • When you stay at the gov’t facility, it’s a hotel and you can’t come out of your room so you obviously can’t violate the quarantine, but when you’re with relatives, there can be temptation. However, Korea has CCTV recordings like everywhere and neighbors, etc will report you. Even all your relatives will shame you into strict compliance lol. The Koreans take it v seriously. So better to not test them. 🙂
  • If you’re caught violating it once, they will attach a wristband to you and you will be tracked more intensely (and again you have to pay the crazy fine)
• The quarantine supplies used to be more dope with a full-on care package (Korean instant noodles, snacks, and an activity like chocolate making, puzzles, or paint kits), but my gucheong said they stopped care packages back in May (IDK if that’s for all gucheongs though)
  • My supplies consisted of enough thermometers to use for the 2 weeks, large bottles of sanitizing spray & hand sanitizing gel, KF94 masks, and a large toxic waste trash bag (which they come pick up after your 2 weeks end – you are to dispose of all your personal trash in there t/o the quarantine)
  • A gucheong is the most local form of gov’t that has a legislative body. Your gucheong oversees your quarantine
• Your quarantine officer may/not come to surprise visit you
  • Mine came twice in the two weeks — something like day 3 and day 10, roughly recalling. Literally just shows up and rings your bell. My dad’s came once. My friends’ never came for a surprise visit, though they came once on the first day to drop off the quarantine supplies. My other friend said her friend’s officer came daily! So you just don’t know what to expect. It’s a luck of the draw
• They used to do the covid testing at the airport, but b/c the spread has died down a lot, they just ask that you get tested within 3 days of arrival
  • For our gucheong, they said they would give us the supplies at the testing site (and not drop them off to us), so we went the day after landing b/c we needed the thermometers. You also have to let them know when you’re leaving for the testing site (which is at the gucheong office), so they don’t freak out about you leaving your quarantine site
  • The testing site was sooo clean, safe & secure. I felt relieved for all the employees too b/c they were protected. There’s literally a glass wall & barrier between you and them, with gloves attached to the wall that they stick their hands through to swab you, take your temp, etc. The woman outside was decked out in PPE and she was constantly sanitizing the seats, handles, pens, etc. and opened and closed each door for us. Also, after getting tested, there is a quarantine orientation and they walk you through the supplies package, quarantine rules, app, etc. and make you feel like you’re part of the team in helping the country fight the spread of covid. It’s awesome!
  • Our test results arrived the next morning before 7 am via text. We were both negative. Hallelujah! But we still had to quarantine the 2 weeks since the tests aren’t 100%; just to be safe

• 

• 

I appreciate that S. Korea is taking this virus super seriously and erring on the side of overabundance of caution. It’s also great that after you finish your two weeks, you’re free to move about the country. Everything is open and everyone, I mean EVERYONE, wears masks! It’s AMAZING. So. Impressive. The numbers are also super impressive and don’t lie. S. Korea is a great example of how good leadership can save lives, curb/control the virus, and make life as normal as possible for the country’s inhabitants. T and I have been living our best lives the past 2 weeks outside of q-tine!

The two q-tine weeks felt long but we got through them. It was nice to still see my dad here and there throughout it (he was living with us in the home, but he went out everyday for most the day so we weren’t together much). And the freedom after it is blissful.

Let me know of any questions, and my YouTube video is also below!

Favorite Newborn Baby Products

Several of our friends are expecting and some have asked what were some products we really enjoyed / needed / would recommend, so here’s my post on it.

First off, every. baby. is. different. I can’t stress that enough – some babies love being swaddled, others hate it; some babies like rockers, others hate it; some babies spit up a lot, others don’t; and I could go on. Sooo just b/c a product worked for one baby does not mean it will work for yours, and vice versa – I say this to emphasize that all recs should be taken with a grain of salt 🙂 also, your situation may be diff from mine, so think what will work best for you (i.e. we only used carriers the first 5 months, but my friend with a C-section noted she couldn’t wear her baby the first month or so due to recovery).

For us, below are the things we really appreciated in our early days (pix are on bottom):

1. Haakaa Pump
   • So good for catching leaking milk and increasing supply! I was sad I didn’t learn about this product til T was 2 months! But still was super happy to use it from months 2-4 until my production stabilized and I stopped leaking. (I tried many things before that, starting with towels which would get SOAKED with milk, then held a cup under to catch leaks (but would have to keep hand there the whole time), then plastic breast covers… I didn’t like any of these methods.) The Haakaa is super easy to use and you put it on the side you’re not nursing on so that while baby is on one side, the other side will not drip all over the floor, and the natural suction will pull out milk from that side too, increasing your supply. This was def my #1 mom product!! It’s a GREAT baby shower gift too! 🙂
2. Hatch Baby Scale
   • This is a baby scale that doubles as a changing table, looks very sleek and is really comfortable for the baby (soft, rubber/foam hybrid-like feel). It comes with an app you connect to your phone so you can see the weight in real time, and the app is actually what I used to track all of my breastfeeding times as well. A lot of our friends didn’t have scales so they would only know their baby’s weight via pediatrician visits; this was nice to be able to see baby’s weight whenever we wanted. Add this to your baby registry! 🙂
3. Gdiapers
   • If you know us well you know we cloth diapered from when T was a few days old, all the way thru when she was potty trained (a little before 2). Gdiapers were our favorite diapers b/c they are the lowest maintenance type of cloth diapers (b/c only the inserts need to be washed per use / covers and pouches you can wash once a week), really easy to use, and look super cute too 🙂 we didn’t know about the newborn size when we had T so we were using the XS-S size (which was big on her for quite a while, but still worked well / no leaks). You can get some newborn size ones and then prep for growth with XS-S (though some babies are born bigger than the newborn size and start with XS-S – many parents sell unused newborn ones on Gdiaper groups for this reason! try searching there before the Gdiaper website, if you’re looking for newborn sizes). We switched to M-L once she was around 16 pounds b/c the hips started to feel too snug.
     
4. Solly Baby Carrier
   • Carriers were super important to us the first year, particularly living in NYC and strollers being a nightmare for public transit (b/c many stations don’t have elevators, no one makes space for you on the sidewalk or on street corners where EVERYONE congregates on the wheel-accessible slopes, it’s hard to hail a cab b/c you have to fold down your stroller and put it in the trunk, etc.). It’s also good to do skin-to-skin when establishing milk production / bonding and keep baby in carrier shirtless against your skin. For the first several months, Solly was our go-to carrier. We loved the softness, design, portability (some carriers can be huge and bulky but this one just feels like a scarf & could easily be put into your bag when not in use), and unisex-ness of it so Peter and I could both use it. It was also not TOO warm for summer; relative to other carriers, it made us less sweaty. Another great baby shower / registry gift 🙂
     
     
5. Swing or Rocker
   • I don’t have a specific one to recommend (I liked our rocker but it got recalled, mainly bc of user error but anyway) but I think it’s helpful to have a swing or rocker, particularly when solo parenting (i.e. on parental leave and alone in the house), b/c you sometimes just need somewhere to put the baby down for a bit while you *insert activity here* and it’s nice to have one that is portable and can easily be moved from room to room. Rockers are not supposed to be used for naps b/c the baby can fall too deep into sleep and not wake up when it’s unable to breathe (this was why our rocker got recalled – infant deaths from napping in them), but they are great for active/awake times, giving you some freedom of movement when there’s no one else to hold baby for you.
6. EC Baby Potty with Cozy
   • We practiced elimination communication from when T was 11 days old 🙂 if you have been over to our place you prob know about it b/c we were very excited to share it with everyone lol but basically it’s about paying attn to your baby’s cues and patterns and helping them relieve themselves into any receptacle (and not soil themselves in a diaper or in clothes). We loved the top hat potty b/c it was super easy to use, T fit right on it, the cozy kept her butt warm, and it was so easy to clean after she peed or pooped in it. Anything can work (even tupperware, or an open sink), but we appreciated having a potty by our bed and couch to easily catch her eliminations.
     
7. Glass Baby Bottles
   • As you’ll likely know by now, plastic is not good for us. It’s not good for our bodies, the environment, etc. It’s particularly not good to put hot liquids in them or heat them up, so we deemed it important to use glass bottles for milk. I pretty much exclusively breastfed except the first week or so, where we supplemented with formula at the rec of our LC, but the few times we did bottle feed, we used Evenflo’s glass bottles (in lavender, nice color :)). Really liked them and they weren’t hot to the touch even after warming them up in a bottle warmer.
8. Burp cloths
   • No specific brand rec – we used a bunch we were gifted from Korea (which were really great!) – but burp cloths def come in handy for soooo many situations. Wiping mouth or hands, catching spit up, cleaning spills, and even wiping her pee after EC’ing her hehe x) (don’t worry, we used clearly identifiable ones for the potty so we wouldn’t use a pee wipe for anything else). Taylor was not a drooler (literally never drooled except 3 days when a random, non-first tooth came in) or spit upper (spit up less than a handful of times), but we still found burp cloths super useful.
9. UV Protecting Hat
   • We got this on Amazon and have a lot of friends who also got it. It has really good coverage and baby can grow into the hat for a long time. Made me feel better about having her in the sun at the park or in a pool.
     
10. Shnuggle Baby Bath
    • We really liked the Shnuggle, which Taylor grew into over time, for its functionality and aesthetic. Due to its portability, it was easy to bathe her in our living room or kitchen (didn’t have to be in the bathroom.) — AW shoot, I think it’s discontinued now 😦 looks like Munchkin has one that looks similar. *shrug*
      
11. Skip Hop Changing Pad
    • Useful for on-the-go changes b/c it’s compact, holds diapers and wipes in the pouches, and opens up into a changing pad. Easy to wipe down/clean and didn’t feel need to sanitize the surface I put the pad down on. Nice little cushion on the part for the head too. Got this as hand-me-down 🙂 thanks Tina!
      
12. Waterproof Sheets!
    • SO HELPFUL. You will definitely have spills, leaks, milk drips, sweat, tears, blood, drool, spit-up, etc. drip or spill onto your bed and/or baby’s crib, so having waterproof sheets make it so much less stressful! No staining, no need to wipe down things, no rush (other than to put the sheet in the wash). We got ours from a brand called B-Sensible and love them. We got both a crib mattress sheet and a queen sized bed sheet. We still use them to this day (Peter is a sweater and drooler too so who knew it’s even helpful for adults lOL)
13. (BONUS) Shirt w/ 2 Holes
    • So this one isn’t a product but it’s something I made on the fly out of desperation b/c I literally couldn’t have ANY cloth touching my chest for the first few weeks lol (having had my nips skinned by T’s poor latch; had this fixed by the LC). Not everyone will feel comf with this method but when it was just Peter and me at home (no help around) or I was just in the room, this was what I wore b/c I was so sensitive / in pain from breastfeeding. I couldn’t even wear just a loose t-shirt b/c it would graze me and I’d cry in pain. This holey shirt method allowed me not to be cold but still have my hard workers breathe free ^_^. It also made it easy to switch sides for baby. So ya just take an old T shirt and cut two big holes in em. x)
      

Things most people rec, but we did not use (either in early days or at all): pacifier (she hated it), swaddles (peter didn’t like swaddling her lol), lovey / stuffed animal (she never took to anything), sleep sacks (she did not like), crib (didn’t move her til 4 mo b/c she fed sooo frequently at night that it was just easier to co-sleep/side-feed; *co-sleeping comes with risks, so it’s important to do all your research*), and carseats and strollers (didn’t get any or use til she was several months old b/c city life and she was kinda too tiny for all strollers until ~6 mo). I recommend getting your baby used to carseats if you can at an early age though b/c up until about 2 (I know, just a couple mo’s ago), Taylor HATED carseats and it made our once-in-a-while road trips very difficult.

I’ll add that a lot of things, you think you need beforehand and “get EVERYTHING ready!!” but sometimes you won’t open the box til months later or ever at all. For us, we mostly went with the flow and bought things on an as-needed basis. Remember there’s time value of money, so why spend now when you can spend later (or not end up spending at all)? That’s just the way I think :p to each his/her own of course.

So there you have it! If you have any questions, lmk! Phone calls are best 🙂 feel free to HMU any time!

How I Weaned My Two-Year-Old

Our breastfeeding journey has ended at last, on Taylor’s second birthday. How far we’ve come! I was thinking about writing a reflection on our whole BF journey but I think I’ll make a separate post on that and focus here just on our weaning process.

I fed this girl from 6 lb 7 oz (and an interim drop to 5 lbs something at one point) to this big towel burrito toddler!!

We began sheltering in place just about a month before Taylor’s 2nd birthday and the BFing frequency ramped up considerably. Normally on weekdays, I’d BF her 1-2x in the morning before work, and 1-2x after / prior to bed. Weekends would be more often b/c she would ask me pretty often and it was sometimes easier to just feed her than to try to fight/bargain for “later”.

However, with quarantine, every day was like the weekend in that she saw me throughout the day, and she started increasing her feeds. That was even with me rejecting her about half the time and her getting upset. (I’ll add that in the earlier parts of 2020, we tried weaning a couple times by other measures, but they did not work, so I knew that if I wanted to wean with lasting effect, I’d have to get her mentally on board.)

This is how she’d react if I adamantly said no to her request to BF – even if I had just fed her within the past hour.

So, about 5 days before her 2nd bday, I made up my mind to wean her cold turkey by using foul taste. My MIL said that’s how some ppl would wean in Korea. I decided on using apple cider vinegar b/c my MIL has lots of it at her place (where we are quarantining) and it is safe to consume.

Taylor is in a fully understanding stage now, so starting from that day, I told her each time that we nursed that her birthday was coming up, and when she turns 2, my milk is going to go bad. She would repeat the story back to me – I’m going to turn 2 soon, it will be my birthday, and mommy’s milk is going to turn yucky. It will taste bad.

Since it was the last few days of BF, I decided to not reject her any time she asked for milk. The final 3 days, she nursed over 20x a day (anywhere from 20 secs to 10 mins each time). She went BF-crazy! It was EXHAUSTING. I think she nursed so much that it made my cycle go weird and somehow made my body think I was nursing an infant or something — my cycle lasted 44 days before I got my period again.

I was going to wait until the day after her bday to wean her, but by 7 pm on her bday I’d already nursed her ~20 times, including during her bday WebEx bday party, so after the videochat ended, I decided that the next time she asks, I’m going to put ACV on.

I had a little travel size spray bottle that I put half ACV and half water in (so it was a little diluted, but not too much so that the taste would still be strong). Taylor of course shortly asked to nurse, so I asked, “Are you sure? You’re 2 now, so I’m afraid the milk is going to taste weird. I don’t think it’s going to be good. It smells funny.” She said she still wanted to, so I had Peter distract her for a sec and sprayed both sides with the mix.

As soon as T tried to latch, she tasted the pungent ACV and immediately made a yuck face. And then she started telling me, somewhat frantically, that my milk had gone bad. “Umma ooyoo ssuh” (mommy’s milk is bitter), “ee sang hae” (it’s weird), “meh-wuh” (it’s spicy). It wasn’t actually “spicy” but she was describing that it’s a strong taste, like spice. I asked if she wanted to try the other side, but I guess she was so put off that she said no. Then, she was sad, so I offered to hug her and we just cuddled. I told her I’m sorry, it has gone bad b/c you are 2, but it’ll be okay and I’m here. I asked if she’s okay and she said, “Yeah, I’m good.” x)

The next day, she woke up and the first thing she said to me was that my milk has gone bad. It is weird, bitter, and spicy. I told her I’m sorry 😦 and she said she’s 2 now, so that’s why it’s weird. I agreed. She did ask to try once more in the afternoon, saying, “Mommy’s milk is not weird, I want it,” so I reminded her of the “facts” and asked again if she was sure. She said yes, so I sprayed again and when she tried it, she had a look of permanence – “it’s over,” her face read. She never asked to try again.

One of the things we started to say is, “Don’t eat it, just touch it.” I told her if she misses BF and wants to connect in a similar way, don’t eat it b/c it is going to taste weird, but touch it for comfort. So she often said that (in Korean), “Mukjima. Geunyang manjah” – so cute hearing her say that to herself and then touch me haha x)

We cuddled and hugged a lot over the next few days. Some of the times she would just nestle her face by my breasts and kinda grieve. It was heartbreaking and precious at the same time. But I knew she would be fine. And after a few days, she stopped seeming sad at all and just went back to her playful, goofy self.

On my end, I just had to manually express milk ~1.5 days and ~3 days post-wean, b/c I felt a little pressure, but since then, I think my body got the message. As mentioned, my menstrual cycle went a bit long, but that’s about it in terms of physical changes. Mentally, it has been a big change. I was shocked that I could lay next to her, or take my shirt off with her nearby, without being accosted for milk. I used to think, “I’ll never be able to change in the same room as her,” but that day has finally come. Of course I will miss it from time to time, but overall I just feel free. I am happy and super grateful I fed her for the two years with no regrets, but now I just enjoy the freedom. I no longer have a 2-year-old milk addict ferociously clinging to me b/c she wants to get a fix. 😅

These days, a month out, I think she gets comfort from touching my boobs, especially when she’s tired. She just wants to hold each side in each of her hands as she falls asleep. And I am fine with that! I love especially that we can lay together without her begging/crying for milk or forcing her hand down my shirt to try to get a suck. It is kinda crazy how she went from milkaholics anonymous to this very reasonable, logically weaned child, pretty much overnight. I am really proud of her and us! 🙂 I love my little big girl!!

Taken on yesterday’s walk with some tulips in the neighborhood. 🙂 My happily adjusted and weaned 2 year old! 🥺 All grown up.

Taylor’s Turning Two

As I reflect back on the last two years, I am filled with so many feelings thinking of how far Taylor has come. Tonight is the last night that she will be “one year old“. Tomorrow, she turns two.

I feel like I will never forget the feeling of her being passed to me by the midwife after I birthed her. I remember specifically feeling her little ribs as she cried and I pulled her through my legs. From then on, we were together almost 24/7 for the next six months. After that, she went to work with me for the next eight months. And still after that, we continued to commute together and go around places in Manhattan together. It’s fair to say she’s been my partner through life the past two years.

Taylor, I am so proud of you. You are truly blessed and gifted. Your smile can make so many cold hearts warm. Your laughter is contagious. You are very strong willed, which we noticed since infancy, and it has only continued to become a defining characteristic of you. I think it’s because of that strong will that you started talking so early, because you didn’t want to have to deal with communication barriers. You know exactly what you want and how you want it. With every bite of food, you want a piece of kim (seaweed), and starting with this quarantine, kimchi.

You’re super affectionate and an 애교덩어리 😍😍 always hugging people and often touching faces of close ones in a gentle caressing way. You also care deeply for others. When you see Cecie eating on video chat, you tell her to 꼭꼭십어먹어. When we are about to do something new or somewhat daring, you tell us to be careful. 아빠, 조심해! You always greet us every morning with “good morning 엄마/아빠!” and you will say “I love you~~” at random times to let us know. One of the mornings I came downstairs, you said “good morning umma, mandoo muhguh!” So funny and so you. Also when I said my stomach hurt, you asked, “mommy, bae ahpa? Oh… Oh… OK!” Then you ran off somewhere and came back with our heating pack. 😭😭

You always make sure we are eating / eating enough, and that we prayed for our meal. When we pray at night, you always make prayer requests of people and things to pray for. You have such a huge heart. ❤️

And when you see something you don’t understand, you always ask about it, and really try to understand. You are very curious – your most common phrases I think are “이거 뭐야?” (what is this) and “뭔 소리?” (what’s that sound) haha!

You have frightened really easily over the past year, but it has gotten better I think within the past month. Probably because we are quarantining in the suburbs and there are not as many noises as we used to hear in the city. At the same time, you are very brave, and strong. You like to try new things like cheer stunts, hanging on pull-up bars unassisted, and carrying very heavy things.

You are so very social and always greet everyone. In the city, you always greet our doormen by name and whenever you come with me into my work building, you say hi and bye to everyone. You love older kids and always point out Unnies and Oppas on the streets, in the subways, etc. You even point them out when you hear songs sung by younger people, like in kidz bop. “언니 노래해”

I also forgot to mention that you became completely potty trained on St. Patrick’s Day for some reason just on your own!! You kept telling us every time you had to potty and you held it til you got to one (even when we went to the airport and I said there isn’t a potty – you waited til we got on the plane and were in the air), and since that day it’s just been that way. Yayyyyy!!! We’ve kept you in undies the past month, even overnight. You are incredible!

I think it’s fair to say you have come so far and accomplished so much in the age of one. I can’t wait to see what two is like.

The past few days, I’ve been prepping you for weaning. The plan is to use diluted apple cider vinegar on the nips. So I’ve been telling you that Wednesday is your birthday and after that, you will turn two, and mommy’s milk will turn sour. I’ve been reminding you of it every time you have asked me for milk, which is like 50 times a day, and I have been refusing you as little as possible since we’re nearing the end (so much so, that my nips have lost some color lol). It has been a very beautiful and lovely journey with you these past two years, and while it’s a loss to move on from this chapter of breastfeeding, the first thing we did after you were born til now, I know that we will have so many other things to look forward to in our story.

Just before you fell asleep, you were telling me that tomorrow is your birthday (“내일 Taylor 생일이야”), that you are going to turn two (“내일 2살 될 거야”), people are gonna sing happy birthday to you (“happy birthday to you (in song) 할거야”), and my milk is going to turn sour (“Taylor 2살 되고 엄마 우유 셔… 할거야”). You really get it. I said sorry and asked if you will be OK, and you said yes. Then you re-positioned yourself next to me, said, “I love you mommy,” and rolled over into your last night’s sleep of one. I wouldn’t have asked to spend it any other way.

I love you, Taylor!! ❤️❤️❤️

Taken earlier today 🙂 it’s very you!

We Spent Our First $1 On Taylor’s Clothing/Shoes at 22 Months

I noted in my Hawaii blog post that we went to Old Navy and spent our first $1 on clothes or shoes for T, at 22 months. She was born April 2018 and we shopped in February 2020. (note: tl;dr bullet points are on bottom of post)

Quick recap: Taylor outgrew the water shoes we brought on the trip WHILE we were in Hawaii, so we got her some sandals that were $14.95 (full price – so expensive for short-term use, but P’s fault >:/ lol), and a long sleeve fleece sweater dress for $0.99 (on clearance) for when we get back to NY. You may be surprised to hear that that was the first time we spent any money on clothes or shoes for Taylor.

Perhaps it stems from our own shopping habits for clothes/shoes (“c/s”) – we basically don’t buy any unless we need them (i.e. running shoes ripped a hole, Peter’s pants ripped after I sewed them 2x before (lol), waterproof shoes for rainy season) or we are traveling internationally (which is about once every 1-2 years), where we find that styles are preferable and we get much more bang for our buck. In the ordinary course, we just wear the clothes/shoes we already have, take hand-me-downs (“HMDs”), and I organize a yearly clothing swap at my church where I will often swap things out. This is b/c of our values of being environmentally conscious (reducing waste and landfill) and practicing generosity (the less we spend on ourselves, the more we can spend on others).

I think many people get excited while pregnant and start buying cute c/s for their little nugget on the way. However, I knew from seeing my nephews and nieces growing up that babies grow so quickly and can sometimes move up sizes overnight. Some babies are even born bigger than NB size. Those who know me well know I am very practical. I preferred not to spend money on something that will only be used a few times, if at all. I also had in mind that people will likely gift us c/s, and knew that many have tons of HMD baby clothes they look to get off their hands, particularly in NYC where space is so limited. So, the first part of the equation was not buying any c/s throughout the pregnancy.

While pregnant, we visited LA, and our friend Miri had an entire suitcase full of baby girl clothes (and in sets, b/c they belonged to twins), socks, mittens, etc. that she accepted from a friend’s friend, with us in mind. She gave them all to us and we were basically set from newborn to 6 months at the least. (She also lent me all her maternity clothes, which were a huge life, or perhaps penny?, saver during pregnancy 😀 thank you Miri!!)

Got a ton of onesies like this one in pairs that were perfect to put on her indoors 🙂 lol to her expression. This is when she first met her oldest cousin, Ryan!

Then of course while pregnant and through the newborn months, people’s go-to baby gift are clothes. One thing I did was keep all tags on and gift receipts if people gave them, and while I know some parents will take all the new clothes and wash them at once in the laundry before putting them all into drawers, we only took tags off anything we were about to put onto T immediately or after the very next laundry cycle.

A couple months into her life, it got really hot and I didn’t have a pair of shorts for Taylor. I thus strapped her to myself and went to Target with a bunch of c/s (and extra baby blankets and towels) I just knew we would not get around to using (mostly b/c of Miri’s bag / we already had enough), and the nice thing about Target is that even if you don’t have a receipt, you can exchange with tags. I looked up the brands Target carries and whatever clothes I had that were Carter’s or Cat & Jack, I took. That bag of merchandise got me store credit in the amount of something like $200. I got the pair of shorts I needed and kept the rest on the store credit (which I later used on w/e we needed from Target, which did not consist of clothes/shoes lol).

Then, I had recently befriended a new mom whose baby is only 2.5 months older than Taylor, but was in the 90%’s while Taylor was like 5% on size scale. She posted on her stories that her baby had outgrown her clothes so fast and asked if anyone needed HMDs. I responded, and for the next year pretty much, she gave us all of Penny’s amazingly beautiful and stylish HMDs! Any cute insta ootds of Taylor’s you may have seen were probably all from her. Thank you, Hannah!! ❤

This adorable outfit sponsored by Penny. 🙂

There was also my coworker’s daughter in the Children’s Center at my work where Taylor spent a lot of time. His daughter was his 3rd/final child and a year older than Taylor. B/c Penny is only a couple months older than T, and I’d need some bigger sizes soon, I asked him if he had any HMDs he wanted to get rid of and he said, “Oh my gosh we have soooo many!” He wasn’t kidding – over the past year, he’s given me probably 3-4 huge garbage bags’ full of c/s. It’s gotten automated to the point where sometimes I’ll just walk into my office for the day and see a huge, full garbage bag on my chair, and know he left another bunch. x) Thank you, Raf!! 😀

Like literally. lol.

Organizing in front of my law books lol 😂

Pauline also will often lend us c/s, like the water shoes T outgrew, that Cecie outgrows first. We live v close and see e/o daily so it’s easy to remember what she lent us and return them when we’re done. 🙂 (Cecie is T’s 3 mo older bestie; they knew e/o since birth and have stroller pooled together the past several months – can share a post on that too.)

And most recently, I needed shoes for Taylor and asked on a FB neighborhood family group if anyone had girl/neutral size 5 shoes they wanted to HMD. A mom sent me a pic of 2 beautiful shoes and then asked what size T was in clothes, then gave me a bag of very cute clothes along with the shoes. My work has a courier service and the mom’s doorman building was within the free service radius, so I had a pickup done while at work and neither the mom nor I had to wait for the other.

Here’s the pic she sent me. Such cute, like-new shoes.

Finally, there are friends who just gave us HMDs, like Tina, Dolly, my SILs, etc. Thank you guys! 😀

😂😂 so funny without hair. A dress from Ellie!

These are some very simple ways you too can save tons of $ and practice reducing and reusing, with minimum effort. Of course, once your little one outgrows, I encourage you to find someone to hand them down to (if you’re not saving/storing them). Happy to chat any time and answer any Q’s – PM me on FB, IG or text! 🙂 If you enjoyed this post, I have many other similar practices/tips I can share – let me know.

In sum, here are the tips:

1. Avoid buying baby c/s while pregnant. Wait for the sweet gifts, and use tips 4-7 as well during that time
2. Keep on tags until just before actual use, and keep available gift receipts
3. Exchange clothes you didn’t use, or know you won’t use, in time
4. Respond to posts offering HMDs on social media as desired
5. Similarly, post on social media and in FB groups to ask for what you’re looking for
6. Ask/accept from friends/coworkers, particularly ones that are done having kids
7. Share/borrow from community

Taylor is 21! (months)

Taylor, you are now 21 months old, barely legal. Next big 21 will be your 21st birthday! You better invite me to your Vegas party then! Haha!

You have grown so much. I took you to the Firm’s get-together yesterday evening as I have on occasion and everyone who saw you said they feel like you really got so big since last time they saw you. Of course, everyone melted at the precious sight of you and you made more than one lawyer’s day. x) but really, you are getting very long, big, and less friendly on the back muscles to carry.</par

Your independence is becoming all the more prevalent. You demand to walk up and down all the subway stairs on your own two feet and get upset when we carry you instead. Those stairs are huge relative to your body, yet you walk up and down all the various flights. It’s pretty much comparable to a full-on hike up Runyon Canyon for your body size, but you don’t run out of breath or get tired. I’m very amazed. You also insist on washing your own hands, pouring your own water, feeding yourself is a given, etc.

You also really like the subway I think; you always say “Gi-cha!!” (train) when the train’s coming, you wave at all the train conductors, you always rush to get up onto the subway seat the moment someone signals that they will give up their seat for us, and you sit on the blue seat yourself (i.e. don’t want to sit in my lap as I sit in the seat). It’s so funny. You also have been going up the set of 2 and 3 steps in our building by yourself (w/o holding our hands). Daddy was shocked the first time you just rushed up those steps on your own. I wasn’t so shocked b/c I saw it coming. Haha. You like to get onto and off any upwards escalators with your own two feet (holding my hand though). You are only apprehensive about getting onto a downwards escalator without being carried. You get off it just fine as long as we’re holding hands.

I know you have good memory but you’ve been revealing it in very shocking ways. For example, your classmate at daycare went on a 3-week vacation and to that point, you had only known her for about a month. The day she came back from vacay, you yelled her name in excitement. “M**!!” Also, every time we go near the Firm, you start asking about Aimee (your former caretaker there) and Y*** (your daycare mate). You ask about them even though you don’t see them for weeks or months at a time. It’s so crazy! I picked you up from daycare yesterday and as we approached the Firm, you asked me, “Y***???” as in will you see him. You also know your classmates’ parent’s faces. We saw a woman getting onto the elevator as we were getting off, and you said, “N*** mommy” and sure enough it was N’s mom. (I’ve decided to asterisk classmates’ names for privacy.) Overall just so impressed with your memory. I’ve always been told I have elephant memory… perhaps it’s genetic and you got it. O_O

You’ve also picked up so much on subtle ways dad and I communicate. When we ask if school was fun, you always start with “Um…” and then say “YEAH.” I didn’t realize how much I start responses with “Um…[yeah or no]” until I heard you doing it and realized it came from me. You say “yeah” the exact same way I do – intonation/pitch. You also started saying, “Good morning [umma/appa]!” when you wake up or see us come out of the room. You say “Bless you [umma/appa]” whenever one of us sneezes, and say “Ok, umma?” if I trip/hit/drop something. If it’s something that happened to both of us and I don’t ask you back, you say “Taylor OK” to let me know that you’re fine just FYI thx for asking. LOL. Whenever you go ahead of us, you turn back and say, “Come on, [umma/appa]!” :)) Oh and you learned this actually several months ago / what we felt was so early on, but you know exactly when to say, “Thank you” – like when someone opens a door or holds the elevator doors open for us, when someone hands you something, opens something for you, etc. I’ve also taught you to say, “Sorry” and auntie Ange & Christina are obsessed with the say you say it. I can’t write it precisely but it’s something like “S-harry” hehe so cute!

There’s also a lot of phrases we didn’t teach you but I guess you picked up at school or something. For example, the other day, you dropped something and I asked if you needed help and you responded, “I got it,” and you’ve been saying that phrase a lot! As well as other 3-4 word phrases I can’t think of atm.. and if there’s food on the table, you tell the person in front of it to eat it. “Eemo, EAT IT.” This morning, you told dad “Appa muhguh” for food and “Appa mahshyuh” for drink – which is a change b/c you were saying “eat” for both drinks and food just earlier this week! You’ve also noticed weather like rain, snow and this morning, said, “Oh, noon e da!” (oh, it’s snow!). When you see pictures of someone you also say, “Oh, [appa] da!” (or whoever it is in the pic). I think you are slowly understanding pronouns and have been using you/me/it more in sentences.

You’ve also been slowly referring in the first instance to every animal by its English word instead of the Korean word we taught you, but you still say the Korean word as well if asked. We think you are understanding that everything has two ways to say it (in English and in Korean) and you seem to be pretty proficiently bilingual. We’re so proud of you! 😀

On EC / potty training – you have been on a HUGE potty strike the past few months, but starting maybe 5-6 days ago, you’ve suddenly decided to be more cooperative and use the potty a lot. At home, you probably use it 50-60% of the time for pees, and almost always for BMs. We feel we’re ON THE CUSP of switching to undies altogether… keep it up, T! Can’t imagine the day where we stop doing a cloth diaper load each day loL but I guess it is bound to come.

Oh! I also think you could be a child actress. When we sing Wheels on the Bus and get to “babies on the bus”, you do the “WAH WAH WAH” in full-on acting crying mode. It’s so funny. You can even summon tears. And then you laugh after.  The other day, you were drinking almond milk from a thermos bottle (btw, you have started drinking more milk from bottles – woot!!!) when dad mentioned “sleepy” and you acted like you fell asleep right then and there on the spot. You were drinking the bottle upright, then leaned over to the side, closed your eyes and pretended to knock out. So funny! We can already tell you’re going to be a huge jokester but maybe also a skilled actress. You also insist on putting your dolls to sleep by putting them on their stomach, patting their back, and singing them lullabies. Haha!

I may have mentioned this last month, but you are singing ABCs start to finish, counting to 10 in English and Korean, and know all the lyrics to a bunch of songs. I think your fave for bedtime is Jesus Loves Me. Sometimes you get very opinionated on what songs we sing before bedtime; mostly that you adamantly say “NO, NO, NO” if we start singing a song you aren’t feeling at that moment. Most the time you won’t tell us the song you want and make us cycle through each song just so you can veto it. Girl, you’re a handful!! That describes you in a nutshell – a handful. Lol. But you are a beautiful, wonderfully and fearfully made handful x) we love you SO VERY MUCH.

You’ve also started understanding that adults have names too. You used to call all adults “uncle/aunt” or “grandma/grandpa”, but now you’re also learning “man/woman” and “so-and-so uncle/aunt” (i.e. their names). You say “Hi, ____” to our doormen (with the appropriate name) when you greet them. And you always say hi to dogs 🙂 you are still afraid of them when they get close to you but love them so much from a distance. Haha.

You’re still OCD and afraid of any dust. You always point out “munji” (dust) on the floor and then bring us the handheld vacuum (which looks like a huge machine gun when you carry it) to clean it. You still love to wipe down messes with burp cloths and say “wash your hands” as appropriate. That’s another thing you’re very independent with – you won’t let us help you wash your hands 95% of the time. You will clasp them to your chest if we try to help, even if they’re covered in water/soap. Lol.

What else? You have become very popular with the boys at church. HAHA. Dad said, “It makes me feel very weird.” A 5 yr old oppa asked why you are so hot (O__o lol) and wanted to hang out and take pix with you. Then another 4 year old said, “Taylor!” and you were like, “Yeah??” while going up the stairs, and he’s like, “I love you!” Haha! We have a very frightful next 20+ years on our hands :X but jokes aside, we will continue to pray for you and your future husband to be an awesome man of God. ❤

All in all, dad and I are THRILLED and HONORED to be your parents and in this stage of your life. It is such a fun and precious stage getting to know you and your personality more and more each day. You are a hilarious light in our life and we could not have half-imagined how perfect you are. We LOVE you. We will continue to cherish these happiest days. Happy 21 months, and happy 2020! May the Lord continue to bless you, keep you, and shine His face upon you. ❤

Taylor – 20 Months!

I can’t believe you’re well on your way to 2 years old, sweet baby girl. 🙂

So much development has happened the past month and half that it’s hard to remember it all to write it. Some notable things are that you’ve begun to say 3 word sentences. You woke up at 4 something once and dad got up to take care of you… I went to the bathroom and as I came out I could hear you say, “Taylor eat apple” and I was shocked! But so tired that I just texted dad, “Did she just say Taylor eat apple” and went back to sleep. Lol.

You started full-time daycare a month and 5 days ago! Thanks to both our work benefits and lots of visits from grandma and grandpas, we were able to keep you at home and backup care for the first 19 months of your life. But now, you are full-time in SCHOOL! I mean, it’s daycare, but they structure it like school, with a teacher for the class who teaches you all sorts of things, does fantastic art projects with you, and loves on you and your classmates. You guys all love her too and yell her name when you see her.

You have 9 other classmates and by the end of the first week, the teacher was so shocked (and excitedly told me) that you already learned all of their names. And by the next week, you also knew which cup belonged to each of those classmates (i.e. you’d point and say “Zoe kkuh!” (which means Zoe’s – kkuh is ‘s in Korean). You have switched from saying apostrophe+S (like pointing to something and saying Taylor kkuh) to now saying “Taylor cup” – describing the thing that is possessed and putting its owner’s name before it.

One thing that has been sad for me is that you don’t like to share anymore – I think since you transitioned to school. You tend to scream when friends try to play with any toys, let alone the one you are playing with. You also get jealous quite easily, if we hug or even sit near one of your friends. You even get jealous when other parents hold their kids, like you got upset with Uncle Clement this past Saturday for holding Kairo on his lap after you got up off his lap. Lolll. We know it’s just a phase so we’re here to get through it with you and let you know we love you and you are secure. You don’t have to be afraid to share anything and we hope to show that to you.

Another “wow” moment for us was probably about 5 or so weeks ago, when dad was tickling you in bed, and you kept saying “STOP” but he wouldn’t… you stuck your hand out to stop him and said, “STOP! K????” followed shortly by, “NO! K????” We were like omg she says “K?!?” now! Hahah! You’ve also been saying “bless you” when we sneeze, going ahead of us somewhere and turning around to say “come on!” to us, and “umma okay?” if I trip or something, to check that I’m okay. You are so very sweet. It has been so fascinating and fun to hear you speak so much. And it’s so very nice to be able to communicate two ways very freely together.

You have also begun to sing a lot of songs. You sing the whole ABC’s, most of twinkle twinkle, and parts of Old MacDonald, Baa Baa Black Sheep, Johny Johny Yes Papa, Old Town Road (your fave song on Kidz Bop) and several others. You count here and there to ten in English and Korean (with assistance). And you still twerk sometimes and love dancing in general. Your signature move is hands up like you’re raising the roof and bouncing up and down. Dad said he wants to go to a clurb and do your move there. Hahaha!

The past two weeks have been hard after you got sick. Your sleep schedule shifted and you’ve been coming to our room around 5 am everyday, give or take 30 mins. T__T and you want to nurse for an hour once you arrive. I don’t think I have much milk left so it’s starting to hurt at how hard you’re sucking to try to get something. Lol. You still want to nurse 2498247 times a day if we’re together throughout the day. But during weekdays, you just nurse 1-2x in the morning and 1-2x in the evening. You still have a voracious appetite and people are always impressed by how much you can pack into that little body.

You are pretty much over the potty, though you did pee in it this morning. You use it about 0-2x a day. I don’t know what happened with EC. Probably because of daycare but it was still worth doing it! It was so fun catching your infant pees and poops lol and it’s still just as satisfying when you go in the potty now. I hope you get toilet trained soon, but we’ll see. We think you’re so excited about all your mental and physical development that you don’t want to put any energy into pottying. We get it and we support you.

You still love helping out around the house, putting things away, picking things up, moving things, throwing things in the trash at our request, bringing things over, etc. Thank you, our little helper! 🙂

It’s going to be our second Christmas together and I just can’t believe how long you’ve been in our lives at this point! I still remember holding you during Silent Night at church last Christmas, and you were sleeping so peacefully in my arms during the lyrics, “sleep in heavenly peace~~” I remember Auntie Simone looked over at me with a gesture of melting and we both were melting with the sweetness overload. I still melt when I see you sleeping, it is my favorite thing to watch! Your absolutely viral laugh and smile are a close second. Love you, Taylor Bea!!! ❤

18.5 Months (and 3 Days)

Hi Taylor!! I had been meaning to write this post for you for the past 18 days, ever since you became 1.5 years old. Unfortunately, work got very busy right then and I haven’t found time for this post until now. I just signed a deal last week and have another one signing this week. You are napping at the moment, and I just finished doing some work.

Two weeks ago, you got a rash that then spread over your body and then you had fevers. It was your first time being sick in a really long time. I think you may have had a tiny fever in Korea after your 1 year vaccines, but you didn’t really have any other symptoms. This time though, you had an accompanying loss of appetite. Very unlike you! I think it was roseola. Thankfully, grandma came into town at just the time you started having your fevers, so that worked out. She took great care of you the past two weeks, and you regained your appetite fully maybe mid-last week. However, dad then got some virus leading to body aches, chills and headaches. I ended up getting it too, after him. So all 3 of us were sick. And then the wall. Our neighbor is doing a gut renovation and her construction people broke a hole into our storage closet wall. Everything got covered in dust…long story short it took us 9 days to get everything resolved, and on the 8th day, they actually poked another hole in our kitchen pantry. It has been a very stressful time in our house.

You however have remained a constant source of radiance, light, and everything good in the world. You are joy encompassed! I am so grateful for you. ❤

Since our last update, you have had a speaking explosion and are putting two words together, like “hi unnie” and “umma ooyoo” (yes you are still very attached to the boob, BUT you are now easily distracted by IG stories lol and immediately unlatch when you hear a video start)! You say most of the animals in Korean and accompanying sounds for many of them. Monkey, owl, bunny, mouse, bear, bird, elephant, horse, fox, pig, fish, chicken, duck, dog, cat, cow, butterfly… You also say the Korean words for bed, blanket, pillow, dolls, clothes, pants, undies, jacket, socks, shoes… Eyes, ears, nose, chin, forehead, mouth, ears, face, head, hands, feet, bellybutton… home, go out, car, flower, tree, rain… Older sister, older brother, auntie, uncle, grandma, grandpa, and in English, “baby” and “Taylor” :)… Fruit, grapes, apple, strawberry…

Today, we got a little sad b/c you said “banana” correctly instead of the bunuanunauna rolling tongue thing you normally would do. Even just 2.5 weeks ago when Uncle Joe was here and he heard you say bunaunaunaua, he thought it was so cute and recorded you. How did you already shift! You are growing too quickly.

Yesterday was another big moment when you were pointing to each person in the room and saying who they were, and then when I asked who YOU are, you patted your own chest and said “Taylor”. And I said what?? You know your name? And you said “Yes, Taylor” and patted yourself again. Later, when dad asked who “baby” is, you patted yourself and said “baby” — so you know that you are Taylor and you are “baby” to us. T____T

You know the colors yellow and pink well, maybe also white (claims dad). However, other colors, when you’re not sure, you just say they’re all “YELLOOWWWW”. You have learned what is your right hand and your left hand, right foot and left. You also put on and take off tops on your own. You pull up your pants when you’re done with the potty. Whenever we try on a new accessory or outfit, you ask to see the mirror. Grandma said you’re so girly. Haha~

And of course, you continue to love dancing! Any time we turn on Kids’ Bop you immediately start grooving it out. Your favorite song seems to be Old Town Road, maybe b/c it’s the first song on the playlist. You also sing along to Havana by saying “Hananananana” and even sing the “Oo-oo, oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oooooh” part. :)) Yesterday when trying to nap, you asked me to sing ABC’s with you over and over, and each time we sang it, you would say more and more of the lyrics. After singing it about 20x I think you’ve got a good 65% of the lyrics down. So amazing watching you absorb everything and constantly showing us what you’ve learned!

You love to play with other kids and particularly ask about Sienna nearly daily. You guys will be starting daycare together soon and see each other practically everyday! How fun 🙂 you guys always hold hands and love to hug one another. Sometimes you more than Cecie, but overall it is reciprocated. hehehe. You also remember a lot of your other friends and ask about them randomly at home. It seems another favorite person of yours is teacher Aimee, whom you haven’t seen in a few weeks but still ask about at least 2-3x nights a week before going to bed. You also love babies and are so sweet and gentle with them. You softly touch them and speak quietly around them. You love to point to them and say “baby??” as you smile. You are so sweet towards and loving of others. You make all of us smile!

You’ve been into Pororo lately and TV/videos in general. I think you find them fascinating. You get a very focused face when watching and it’s hilarious. We play Baby Shark for you to brush your teeth, and sometimes, when we say, “Say ‘ahhhh,'” you’ll look blank for a second and then slowly go “ohhh” and we’re like, “No, ‘ahhh'” and you say “eeeee” — can’t focus on your vowels when you’re busy watching Wheels On The Bus! Hahaha.

Another thing we’ve noticed about you — and I may have written this in your last post too, but it’s becoming even more pronounced — is that you get frightened often. The construction noises especially scare you and you put your hands in the air, frantically panic and run over to the closest adult and cling to them. There are other random noises that just plain scare you. It is so cute frankly to see you when you are scared, and I love to be able to hold you when it’s me you run to and tell you everything is okay. I hope you will grow to become fearless, but still run into my arms often x)

One other amazing thing we noticed is that you seem to understand negatives! We will ask something like, “Do you want to eat this?” and you respond, “No.” If we want to clarify and ask it in the negative, “안먹을래?” you’ll say “yeah” – as in yes, you don’t want to eat it. SO cool!

You seem to not want to pee on the potty. You purposely pee in your diaper or on the floor and tell us right after, and mischievously smile that you peed somewhere other than the potty. But then there are other times where you happily oblige, or even ask for, the potty and pee/poo in it. We’re just trying to follow your lead and we’re sure when you finally get sick of the diapers and puddles, you will just switch to the toilet altogether.

Finally, you are so helpful and always wanting to do things for others (I guess except pee in the toilet loL). Grandpas (my dad and his friend) were so impressed by you when they stayed with us for 2 weeks and each day, you would always first put a piece of whatever it was you were to eat in each of their mouths before feeding yourself. They were amazed saying it is so uncommon for a baby to want to feed others first as you do. But I am not surprised because you’ve always been that way and are always eager to assist us in any way you can – throwing something away, bringing something over for us, picking up things that have fallen, cleaning spills with rags, carrying heavy things, putting dirty clothes in the laundry, helping us hang the laundry… In fact you cracked up our neighbor on Halloween when, after grabbing your candies from the candy bag on the floor, you picked up the 5-lb bag and handed it back up to her. Haha!! You know Cecie loves her paci so you always are trying to look out for her paci – if it falls, you pick it up and try to clip it back to her shirt. And you’re always trying to help her put it in her mouth. I love watching your thoughtful actions for others. ❤

You are also the PRAYER POLICE! Any time we start eating without praying, you stop us and tell us we need to pray. And if just I close my eyes, then you start saying “APPA! APPA”! to make sure dad does too. Then you say “HAMI! HAMI!” so that grandma will join. You make sure EVERYONE prays together. And at night, after praying, you often ask for us to pray more, and once we say “Amen,” you ask for MORE prayer. We’re so blessed by you! ^__^ May you always love communicating with the Lord and praying without ceasing. ❤ ❤ ❤

Happy year and half of life to you baby and to making our past year and half the FULLEST we have ever lived. We love you!